The mechanism by which Cannabis sativa dispersed from its center of origin remains an open question. The literature provides many hypotheses, which we review for the first time, but experiments are few. Darwin was interested in zoochory - the transport of plants by animals. He demonstrated endozoochory (transport of seeds via animal digestive systems) of C. sativa achenes (seeds) by carrier pigeons, but he did not quantify achene survival rates. We assessed mammalian endozoochory in a triplicate experiment: feeding C. sativa achenes into a simulated gastrointestinal system, a dog, and a human. The in vitro system subjected achenes to sequential digestive enzymes. Achenes were planted in potting soil and monitored for emergence under growroom conditions. The in vivo experiments added achenes to a normal morning meal (dog food or granola). Feces were collected for daily instillation into an outdoor garden and monitored for seedling emergence for 16 days. Control achenes were planted directly into soil without ingestion. In the in vitro study, 34.7% of the digested achenes emerged as seedlings. The in vivo emergence rates were 10.3, 1.3, and 76.0% for the dog, human, and control conditions. The three groups differed significantly (χ2 = 1,264.93, p < 0.0001). Achene survival was greatest under in vitro conditions, which lacked a mastication step, compared to dog (minimal chewing) and human (maximal chewing) conditions. Although C. sativa lacks evolutionary traits for classic endozoochory (i.e., a fleshy fruit), it seems well adapted to this manner of seed dispersal.