Fernando de Rojas’ La Celestina drips with sexuality as represented by prostitution, double entendre, and hypersexuality but some scholars have balked at the opportunity to investigate the significance of Celestina’s same-sex desires that permeate through the pages in her interactions. This essay delves into a queer reading of Dorothy Severin’s edition of La Celestina using widely accepted heteronormative scholarship but applied to the female relationships that occur within. Areúsa’s mal de madre, Calisto’s dolor de muelas, and Elicia’s mysterious dolor all benefit from Celestina’s cures and satisfy Celestina’s sexual appetite for same-sex desires. I also suggest that Celestina’s relationship with Claudina is more than a close sisterhood and parallels that of the reverence Calisto holds for Melibea. Finally, I contemplate Pármeno’s societal representation of repulsion toward “the Other.” I argue that Celestina’s passionate past with his mother motivates his murderous intention toward Celestina.