It is commonly expressed by parents of disabled children within the Nordic region that there is a mismatch between the official aims of the welfare state and the services provided. In an attempt to explore ways to improve welfare services for disabled children and their families this article proposes three social-relational approaches to disability, family, and service systems which combined may create a basis for new and dynamic ways of working with families. The first approach is a relational understanding of disability, the second a family-centred theory characterized by partnerships with parents, and the third a cultural-historical activity theory emphasizing inter-organizational learning as a method to develop services. Developing ways to fulfil the welfare states’ promise of equality and human rights for all is particularly relevant now when all the Nordic countries are currently striving to meet the demands of the new UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities.