We use a model for the ELMO Bumpy Torus as a bumpy cylinder with a toroidally induced vertical drift imposed on the plasma. With this model we obtain the neoclassical plasma-transport coefficients for ions in both the banana and plateau resonant regimes. The problem of solving the linearized bounce-averaged drift kinetic equation is formulated as a variational principle, which is shown to be valid for both the banana and plateau regimes. We use limiting forms of this principle to obtain a continuous collisionality approximation to the energy-dependent flux. We then use this approximation to obtain analytic formulae for the particle- and energy-diffusion coefficients. These are shown to give excellent agreement with numerical results.