A marriage of convenience has been defined as a reciprocal relationship between a gay man and a lesbian that provides a way to cope with social, cultural, family, and political stress, but this definition may be oversimplified in explaining this type of reciprocal relationship in a guanxi (the system of social networks and influential relationships that facilitate business and other dealings) society such as China. Such relationships are undergoing a process of development and change rather than remaining stable in Chinese guanxi society. This paper explores the nature and process of the development of marriages of convenience between gay men and lesbians in China. The data were collected and analyzed according to the grounded theory method. A theoretical sampling strategy was employed, and a sample of 15 people involved in so‐called marriages of convenience was recruited from gay and lesbian communities in China. In our research, we found that the marriage relationships documented in this study included four stages: (1) men dang hu dui (being matched for marriage), (2) partnership, (3) friendship, and (4) kinship. Building a suitable relationship in a marriage of convenience can help gay men and lesbians meet social expectations while simultaneously retaining a degree of autonomy for their own homosexual identities. Maintaining and developing guanxi is a basic method of conflict resolution in Chinese society. Meanwhile, the ambiguity of the relationship within a marriage of convenience may cause conflict in these marriages. Treatment modalities are recommended to reorganize the system structuring these marriages and clarify ambiguous family boundaries by redefining who is in the family unit and his and her associated roles and responsibilities in the marriage of convenience. We conclude that more research is warranted to investigate how family therapy can be adapted for Chinese gay and lesbian individuals.