ABSTRACTAvian brood parasites lay their eggs in the nests of their hosts, which rear the parasite's progeny. The costs of parasitism have selected for the evolution of defence strategies in many host species. Most research has focused on resistance strategies, where hosts minimize the number of successful parasitism events using defences such as mobbing of adult brood parasites or rejection of parasite eggs. However, many hosts do not exhibit resistance. Here we explore why some hosts accept parasite eggs in their nests and how this is related to the virulence of the parasite. We also explore the extent to which acceptance of parasites can be explained by the evolution of tolerance; a strategy in which the host accepts the parasite but adjusts its life history or other traits to minimize the costs of parasitism. We review examples of tolerance in hosts of brood parasites (such as modifications to clutch size and multi‐broodedness), and utilize the literature on host–pathogen interactions and plant herbivory to analyse the prevalence of each type of defence (tolerance or resistance) and their evolution. We conclude that (i) the interactions between brood parasites and their hosts provide a highly tractable system for studying the evolution of tolerance, (ii) studies of host defences against brood parasites should investigate both resistance and tolerance, and (iii) tolerance and resistance can lead to contrasting evolutionary scenarios.