AbstractSteam‐cracker tar (SCT) is a by‐product of ethylene production that is in massive quantities globally (>150 × 106 tons per year). With few useful applications, the production of unwanted SCT leads to the need for its costly disposal or burning at the boiler plant. The discovery of new uses for SCT would therefore bring both economic and environmental benefits, although, to date, efforts toward employing SCT in diverse applications have been limited, and progress is further hampered by a lack of understanding of the material itself. Although complex and highly heterogeneous in nature, the molecular composition of SCT has the potential to serve as a diverse and tunable feedstock for wide‐ranging applications. Here, a simple solution‐processing method for SCT that allows its conductivity and optical properties to be controlled over orders of magnitude is reported. Here, by way of example, the focus is on the production of transparent conductive thin films, which exhibit a wide range of transparencies (23–93%) and sheet resistances (2.5 Ω □–1 to 1.2 kΩ □–1) that are tuned by a combination of solution concentration and thermal annealing. As transparent Joule heaters, even without optimization, these SCT devices show competitive performance compared to established technologies such as those based on reduced graphene oxide, and surpass the temperature stability limit of other materials. Furthermore, it is demonstrated that laser annealing can be used to process the SCT films and directly pattern transparent heaters on an arbitrary substrate. These results highlight the potential of SCT as a feedstock material for electronic applications and suggest that broader classes of either naturally occurring carbon or produced carbonaceous by‐products could prove useful in a range of applications.