Abstract Humans have probably always been trying to organise the world around us, and we have accounts from at least Aristotle to formalise organisation systems [1]. While this has largely been a manual effort (cf. Linnaeus’ Systema Naturae), technological advances in natural language processing and the advent of the Semantic Web research domain have made (semi-)automatic organisation of knowledge about the world possible [2]. Now, on-the-fly DNA sequencing, nanoprocessors, nanosensors, nanobots, and smart surfaces are enabling organic self-organisation of real-world objects. In this paper, we present the theoretical framework and first experiments that ring in this new era of dynamic auto-taxonomising. Disclaimer: This paper is a work of fiction, written in 2023 and describing research that may be carried out in 2043. For this reason, it includes citations to papers produced in the period 2024-2043, which have not been published (yet); all citations prior to 2024 refer instead to papers already in the literature. Any reference or resemblance to actual events or people or businesses, past present or future, is entirely coincidental and the product of the author’s imagination.