This paper explores patterns in the naming og public houses in Great Britain. In particular it examines spatial patterns in the term used to reference a pub such as ‘Inn’ or ‘Bar.’ It then goes on to explore the spatial linkages between pub names and other geographical features, particularly railway infrastructure and cathedrals. Patterns in pub naming are modelled via Gaussian processes embedded in binomial and multnomial regression models. Our intention is to try to make this reasonably close to something Martin Charlton would regard as an ideal talk, as it concerns spatial data analysis, pubs, trains and cathedrals.