Microorganisms require protection against the potentially damaging effects of ultraviolet radiation exposure. Photoprotection is, in part, provided by mycosporine-like amino acids (MAAs). Previous reports have proposed that nonradiative decay mediates the impressive photoprotection abilities of MAAs. In this letter, we present the first ultrafast dynamics study of two MAAs, shinorine and porphyra-334. We demonstrate that, in aqueous solution, these MAAs relax along their S1 coordinates toward the S1/S0 conical intersection within a few hundred femtoseconds after photoexcitation and then traverse the conical intersection and vibrationally cool in approximately 1 ps through heat transfer to the solvent. This new insight allows a quintessential component of microbial life to be unraveled and informs the development of molecular photon-to-heat converters for a myriad of applications.