Quest for Entropy #14: Schrödinger's cat and Wigner's friend, demystified with a programming construct every developer uses daily. This episode demonstrates that "both outcomes until observed" and "facts that differ between observers" have mundane, working mechanisms in asynchronous computation — in a code snippet you can paste into a console, and in a toy model with measured test rows. It is not a claim about how nature actually works. Promises alone are not the model, either: they carry the asynchrony half, and the Iceberg completes them with the hidden settlement layer where the state actually lives. The promise analogy carries no quantum-computing claim: promises hold classical values and do not interfere, and interference is exactly the quantum content the Iceberg Model imports rather than explains. Bell-type correlations between pairs are out of this episode's scope entirely. All numbers were produced with AI assistance and are under continuing verification — which is why everything reproduces with one command.