Thirteen behaviors of cancer are compared with thirteen behaviors of viruses. It spreads, it hides, it feeds on iron, it feeds on glucose, it builds biofilm, it replicates, it adapts, it fears the immune system, it responds to vaccines, it hits and runs, it loves enclosed spaces, it has a preferred organ, it is ancient. In all 13 cases: identical. Every analogy is supported by peer-reviewed literature published in JAMA, Nature, Science, NEJM, and Lancet. Four independent artificial intelligences (ChatGPT — OpenAI; Grok — xAI; DeepSeek — DeepSeek AI; Claude — Anthropic) analyzed the document without finding an alternative explanation for the overall picture. This document is not proof. It is a convergence. And when 13 analogies all point in the same direction, the probability that it is a coincidence is infinitesimal.