We present a comprehensive structural audit of Interstellar Object (ISO) 3I/ATLAS based on verified Feb 2026 telemetry. Observations indicate three primary anomalies inconsistent with stochastic cometary accretion: (1) A persistent 144second stroboscopic pulse identified as the fundamental acoustic resonance of a macroscopic Kagome phononic crystal; (2) Tripartite jet geometry exhibiting discrete 7-8-9 integer partitioning of a 24-unit circle (105°/120°/135°); and (3) A trajectory injection into Jupiter’s Hill Radius with $\le 0.1\%$ variance, facilitated by a sustained non-gravitational acceleration of $5 \times 10^{-7}$ AU/day². We propose a mechanism of Topological Floquet Coupling, wherein the object functions as a Topological Capacitor, storing energy via geometric frustration in a macroscopic Kagome substrate. Energy is released through magnetostrictive interaction with the Heliospheric Current Sheet (HCS), driving acoustic-topological modes that provide both the 144s resonance and directed thrust vectoring. We argue that the required macroscopic geometric periodicity ($200\text{–}400\text{m}$ scale) is more parsimonious with manufactured/metric-engineered architecture than natural interstellar formation. This paper serves as the primary technical brief for the March 16th Jupiter rendezvous