This work discusses the experience of caring for a family member with a mental illness, including the concepts surrounding the subject and its handling in Brazil's recent psychiatric reform. As a strategy for analyzing data, and based on the theory of object relations developed by Winnicott (1975), the work is structured by means of two categories: the carer's concepts and experiences of mental illness and the burden experienced. The results of the research pointed to ambiguous feelings in the relationship with the family member suffering from the mental illness; a reverting to internment as the main course of action in times of crisis; neglect or ineffective support for families from public services; and a sense of burden marked by concerns, fear and demands for care that exceed the families' capabilities. The article concludes by reinforcing the need to support the families of patients with mental illnesses in the public network of primary healthcare and mental health. Based on the premise that the roots of mental health lie in relations of trust and the adaptation of the environment to the subject with immature emotional development (Winnicott, 1979), it may be understood that not just users, but also their family members, ought to be welcomed and "managed" by multi-professional teams committed to the main principles and policies set out in the Psychiatric Reform.