Introduction: It is widely acknowledged that good quality relationships between social workers and children are essential to children’s non-formal inclusion in child protection processes. However, research exploring the perspective of children has shown this relationship to be highly complex, particularly when children are taken into care. Methods: This paper combines insights from two qualitative participatory studies conducted in Italy, both developed out of a collaboration between university, professional social work associations, and the Italian association of care leavers. The two projects explored, respectively, the perspectives of social workers on the one hand and of children in care and care leavers on the other regarding their relationship. Outcomes: The data reveal the complexity of the relationship between children and social workers, showing how both share a mirrored perception of it. Social workers recognise children’s negative feelings toward them and see them as inevitable, especially in cases of tense family dynamics. A relationship marked by hostile attitudes, anger, and distrust not only fuels social workers’ emotional struggles but also makes it harder to engage children effectively. While hostile attitudes and mistrust are often seen as obstacles to positive engagement, we advocate for recognising them not as barriers to be overcome but as realities to be acknowledged and addressed openly. This approach can create space for both children and practitioners to explore alternative forms of agency, fostering more meaningful participation.