The elephant-in-the-room: It's so obvious, why didn't we see it before? In the context of "dual-polarized radar", especially Earth-observing synthetic aperture radar, the elephant is simply the relative phase between the two image outputs of a "dual-polarized" SAR. Capture the elephant-which for certain systems may be a minimal-cost transformation-to realize nearly a dozen quantitative image norms, most of which have not been exploited outside of the radar astronomy community. Even better, transmit circular polarization.