A condensed matter platform for analogue simulation of complex two-dimensional molecular bonding configurations, based on optically trapped exciton-polariton condensates is proposed. The stable occupation of polariton condensates in the excited states of their optically configurable potential traps permits emulation of excited atomic orbitals. A classical mean field model describing the dissipative coupling mechanism between p-orbital condensates is derived, identifying lowest threshold condensation solutions as a function of trap parameters corresponding to bound and antibound $π$ and $σ$ bonding configurations, similar to those in quantum chemistry.