Abstract Social selection offers an alternative to sexual selection by reversing its logic. Social selection starts with offspring production and works back to mating, and starts with behavioural dynamics and works up to gene pool dynamics. In social selection, courtship can potentially be deduced as a negotiation, leading to an optimal allocation of tasks during offspring rearing. Ornaments facilitate this negotiation and also comprise ‘admission tickets’ to cliques. Mating pairs may form ‘teams’ based on the reciprocal sharing of pleasure. The parent–offspring relation can be managed by the parent considered as the owner of a ‘family firm’ whose product is offspring. The cooperation in reproductive social behaviour evolves as a mutual direct benefit through individual selection rather than as some form of altruism requiring kin or multi-level selection.