Neutron stars are born in the supernova explosion of massive stars. Neutron stars rotate as stably as atomic clocks and possess densities exceeding that of atomic nuclei and magnetic fields millions to billions of times stronger than those created in laboratories on the Earth. The physical properties of neutron stars are determined by many areas of fundamental physics, and detection of gravitational waves can provide invaluable insights into our understanding of these areas. Here, we describe some of the physics and astrophysics of neutron stars and how traditional electromagnetic wave observations provide clues to the sorts of gravitational waves we expect from these stars. We pay particular attention to neutron star fluid oscillations, examining their impact on electromagnetic and gravitational wave observations when these stars are in a wide binary or isolated system, then during binary inspiral right before merger, and finally at times soon after merger. This article is part of a discussion meeting issue ‘The promises of gravitational-wave astronomy’.