Abstract This note describes the restraint which will be needed for China and the US to embrace and sustain the kind of détente which dramatically thawed relations between the US and Soviet Union. For the United States, the restraint that is needed is to step back from demanding recognition of its continued primacy; Washington should recognize that China is no longer prepared to be just a rule-taker, but is determined to be a major player in international rule-making. For China restraint is necessary partly because its recently reasserted territorial claims over the South China Sea are indefensible in international law, and also because it has recently played a much more active spoiling role on human rights issues than it did in the past. Australia, and other countries in the Asia-Pacific region, have an important role to play in encouraging the US and China to do what is needed.