Abstract General operation conditions to obtain anticipated or retarded synchronization in a mutually coupled system with feedback are analyzed. Different from a unidirectionally coupled system, which type of synchronization will occur in a mutually coupled system does not solely depend on the difference between the feedback-delay time and the coupling-delay time. We find that in addition to the feedback/coupling delay times, feedback strengths and coupling strengths all determine whether the system will preform anticipated or retarded synchronization. Experimental implementation using semiconductor lasers subject to optoelectronic feedback is provided as an example. A set of experimental data is presented and discussed.