Little research focuses on the ways that bereaved family members react to and make meaning of their experience of the death of an elderly father and husband. In a qualitative, ethnographic study of 34 bereaved families we examined how family members respond to two inter-related social contexts: 1. social-cultural values and attitudes such as attitudes toward grieving for old persons, and 2. the inter-personal dyadic relationship between interviewer and interviewee. An underlying theme of uncertainty pervades the study participants' views of what is normal and expected in their own process of bereavement. Implications for future bereavement research are suggested.