As an alternative to the sado-masochistic interpretation of violent spouse abuse, a quasi-romantic perspective sees abuse as a consequence of intensive intimacy—even “love.” In this study, abuse is explained as a form of punishment of the partner who is experienced as the spoiler of the expectations, hopes and plans for a fulfilling long term, committed and attuned communion. He/she, who is perceived as the breaker of that intimate context has to be penalized, with the death-penalty being the extreme form of expression of outrage at the offense. Both husbands who killed their wives, and wives who killed their husbands, in their interviews with the author displayed a deep commitment to their marriages. This explains why their leave-takings were so violent and their exits so final. By killing the spoiler they could bury and let go of their romantic dreams! Less lethal forms of spouse abuse-battering, enslavement, etc., often have the same element of punishment of the spoiler.