Ill health is an ever present possibility in the lives of apparently fit and active elderly people. Together, members of the elderly peer group establish norms of sickness behaviour and monitor each other's performance in terms of collective standards. Various responses occur when a friend is no longer able to engage in the activities of friendship. They range from the withdrawal of one or both partners to the bestowal of friendship on the frail as a gift. The paper draws on material collected during research on old people's friendships and formal organisations in the south of England. It examines the contrast between the policy makers' view that friends have a role in the promotion of health with that of gerontologists for whom friendship and long term ill health are incompatible. The evidence offered here challenges conventional thinking about friendship and health. It suggests that the importance of equity is exaggerated in the literature.