Outbound telemarketing continues to grow at a very rapid rate for many consumer and business marketers, and for a number of companies this direct marketing method has been extremely lucrative. However, some very serious problems have accompanied the profits. Telemarketing, allowed to run amok, can have a devastating effect on a company and on all users of direct marketing. This paper discusses contact strategies for telemarketing and methods for optimizing profits and minimizing customer irritation. An example is worked through which illustrates the financial mathematics of telemarketing in the context of assigning names to products. The author's experience has produced recommendations regarding the types of controls, support systems, and training that are required for a successful telemarketing operation.